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8 Qualities Of The INFJ Best Friend

The INFJ Best Friend

With well-known traits of being loyal, kind, empathetic and helpful, you’d think the INFJ would be considered the most ideal best friend anyone could ever ask for. And while this can certainly be true, depending on who you ask, sometimes it’s not exactly the case. So, what exactly does the INFJ best friend relationship entail?

8 Qualities Of The INFJ Best Friend

1. They will be your biggest fan

One of the best qualities of the INFJ personality type has to be their genuine concern for the growth and well-being of others.

"Especially when it comes to an INFJs closest friends and family, this goal-oriented type will go above and beyond to ensure their needs are met."

In fact, INFJs naturally see the best potential in their friends, and are able to use their bigger picture view to provide unbiased advice and encouragement - only to watch them flourish into the best versions of themselves. The INFJ best friend is the ultimate cheerleader - never getting jealous or envious of their friend’s achievements, because they see their best friend’s as an extension of themselves. When their closest people are doing well, the INFJ feels at peace.

2. They can be clingy

While they may be expert-disguisers of their clingy nature, when the INFJ begins to truly value something or someone with their entire being, they can naturally feel possessive. Especially when it comes to friendships and relationships in an INFJ’s younger years, when the INFJ best friend or partner finally feels like they can just be themselves with someone they genuinely trust - they tend to stay weary of potential interferences until proven otherwise.

"And so, contradictory to their ghosting nature, the INFJ best friend may feel anxious or unnecessarily bothered should it seem like their friends are dodging their texts."

They can get into a head space of ruminating and questioning whether or not they did something wrong, when in reality there’s no hard feelings.

3. They require a great deal of alone time

Like we said.. INFJs have this contradicting notion of wanting to be around people, and not wanting to completely isolate themselves from the world.

"In fact, the balance between the two is one of this personality type’s biggest struggles, especially when it comes to maintaining friendships."

Ironically, INFJs are actually the ones known to occasionally dodge texts for days at a time, forget to return phone calls and voicemails, and sometimes even cancel plans at the last minute - mostly because of their naturally introverted nature. So, if a friend is looking for reliable communication and hangouts for days-on-end, the INFJ definitely comes with a few quirks that need to be overlooked. But in our opinion, their loyalty, big heart and empathy when they are around is worth their time needed to recharge.

4. You’ll never know more about them than they know about you

Not to be creepy, but INFJs just simply don’t open up like they encourage others to do. Call it hypocritical, but naturally, INFJs are more of the listening type than the sharing type.

"And, as a result, for most INFJ relationships.. including friendships, they usually know more about others than others know about them."

Of course, it won’t always seem that way, in fact, most friends of people with the INFJ personality type would claim they know them quite well, little do they know, there’s lots to be uncovered. Luckily, time and patience will eventually peel back the layers of the true inner INFJ personality, yet they won’t open up to just anyone. As a matter of fact, that’s one of the main reasons the INFJ values the concept of quality over quantity when it comes to long term friendships. 

5. They’re not particularly open to the idea of new members

Some INFJs may be rather skeptical of the concept of having a true best friend in their lives, especially if they’ve never really experienced it.

"In fact, even for the INFJ who has a bestfriend or 2 of their own, most people with this type can’t fathom the idea of ever getting along with someone as well as they do with the friends they already have."

And so, no matter what angle the INFJ comes from, they can be quite reluctant to the idea of new incomers, intruders and possible friend-group expansions. In an INFJ’s eyes, going out for coffee with a best friend is very different from going out for coffee with a best friend and that bestfriend’s new coworker.

Aside from their uneasy feelings towards changed plans, this introverted type just knows they won’t be able to be their true selves around someone they’ve yet to fully analyze and understand. So, sometimes it’s usually easier to avoid the idea of new friendships altogether.

6. They’re in it for the long haul

Similar to the INFJ dating life, this passionate personality type isn’t up for the idea of one-night flings or half-hearted friendships.

"For any relationship the INFJ truly cherishes, there must be an underlying connection that runs deep; woven of shared beliefs, genuine thoughts, and vulnerability."

They require depth of conversation, raw emotion and some sign of commitment in order for their subconscious emotional guard to slowly lower - allowing them to trust that the connection is authentic. Since relationship-building takes time it comes as no surprise that the INFJ may be reluctant to remain open to new connections, and explains why they so strongly value the connections they already have.

7. They can seem judgmental

Although INFJs have an uncanny ability to see most situations from multiple angles, they still end up having quite strong opinions about the way things ‘should’ go in life.

"And with strong views comes a seemingly judgmental nature - yet, it couldn’t be further from the truth when it comes to an INFJs advice to their best friends."

Like we mentioned, INFJs see everyone’s greatest potential. And while that allows them to overlook the potential flaws and mistakes of others, they have a tendency to want to help solve or fix things that seem unideal in the lives of people they meet.

With their introverted intuition allowing them an insight into possible future outcomes, they may be able to see how certain choices could unfold for their friends. And, as a result, they may feel it’s up to them to change it. This can come off as being over analytical, critical and even unaccepting of their personal choices - when in reality, they're just trying to help!

8. They come bearing a mix of wisdom & empathy

Aside from the many reasons the advocate INFJ makes for a great best friend, the most common claim of fellow bestfriends to this type is their admirable balance of logical wisdom and caring empathy. This desirable mix of head and heart allows the INFJ best friend to not only calculatively advise and encourage their friends in life, but also gives them the ability to forgive and overlook the roadblocks that come with any close human connection.

"They don’t tolerate pettiness, ignorance, ulterior motives, or selfishness in their friendships, and their intuitive nature helps in the weeding of these qualities out of their lives."

And for the friends that make the cut, INFJs can act as the true role model and support system some people need in their lives.. All they ask for in return is a genuine connection.

So, do you have an INFJ best friend, or are you the INFJ best friend?