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Why People Think INFJs Are Boring AF

Are INFJs Actually Boring?

From the outside looking in, it’s fair to say that the INFJ is easily perceived as not only being highly reserved but also slightly.. boring. Despite their elaborate imaginative thinking and their desire for living outside of the norm, the INFJ type isn’t seen as very reactive or spontaneous. But that’s not the only reason they’re seen as boring..

They Really Don’t Need Others to Be Entertained

The first reason the INFJ can be perceived as slightly dull and mundane is that unlike other extroverted personality types, the INFJ finds true comfort and entertainment when they’re in their own company. Although they can easily absorb the energies of others, they don’t use that energy to feel alive and fulfilled.

While some people would rather have a friend tag along while they run their errands or go for a walk around the neighborhood, usually INFJs are pretty content with the idea of spending that time with themselves.

Sometimes even to the point of being silently opposed to the thought of having to bring someone along. Things like partying, socializing, and meeting new people doesn’t really have the same excitement factor to this introverted type, despite their need for human connection.

Now, spending the evening playing smooth jazz and sipping wine while they work on their online business.. That’s more like it, boring or not.

They Don’t Seek Out Constant Stimuli

With a high likelihood that all INFJ are actually considered highly sensitive people because of their unique function stack, they may not always enjoy the same things a person who’s considered ‘less boring’ may enjoy. Sure, this gives them the ability to pick up on the subtlest of stimuli such as sounds and suppressed emotional states of others.

However, they don’t have these abilities without a difficult trade off.. That trade off being that most INFJs are easily overstimulated by the world around them. This is a big reason why the partying and socializing we mentioned in point number 1 is so unappealing.

The same bright lights, loud music, groups of people and different personalities that excite the average person can send an INFJ into full-blown sensory-overload mode. And to be the first one to want to leave or silently retreating because of over-stimulation, is certainly one way to be seen as boring.

They’re Not Overly Reactive

Great listeners with a deep desire to actually understand people at their level, INFJs don’t usually have a difficult time when it comes to getting along with other people. However, just because they’re perceived by others as kind and understanding, doesn’t mean they have that enthusiastic mark that some extroverted types can leave on people.

Rooted in their deep understanding of the world around them, there's nothing that really surprises the INFJ enough to spark the typical reaction expected. Whether they’re faced with news surrounding a new pregnancy, a spontaneous resignation, an uncalled-for breakup, a major life decision, or an emotional obstacle, the INFJ always remains cool, calm, and collected.. And not just for show.

Despite their unsettled feelings towards future uncertainty, deep down, this personality type knows that the show must go on. They don’t want to add anymore fuel to the fire by internally or externally overreacting, but this can backfire when it’s good news they’re presented with.

For example, they may react to a friend’s promotion with a simple ‘Yaay! So exciting, I’m so happy for you.’ When really that friend was hoping for a promotion party and a little more of a congratulations. Are their reactions boring? Maybe.. Genuine? Everytime.

They Rarely Have Materialistic Interests

If it’s not apparent by the idea that INFJs usually prefer to do things in their lonesomeness, INFJs are certainly outcasts in most settings. Besides their disinterest for intoxicated socialization and overstimulation, this philosophical type isn’t as moved by materialistic goals.

While some people find motivation to earn money through the latest and greatest cars, all-inclusive trips, name brand clothes, and beauty procedures, for most INFJs, their goals are far beyond materialism advancements.

Not only does this make the INFJ prone to accidentally disregarding others' prize material possessions at times, but it can make people question what the INFJ does actually enjoy in life. In fact, most people with the practical INFJ personality type are considered to be quite frugal by nature.

They usually require a deeper reason other than just image, desire and convenience to open their wallets, especially when it comes to large purchases, with their main question being ‘how will this purchase affect or benefit me and others in the future’. This can make decision making prior to spending require some serious patience and understanding from others involved.

Social Media Isn’t Their Forte

No social media presence!? You either live under a rock or are most certainly an INFJ personality type. Similar to materialism, most INFJs find that maintaining a presence on social media isn’t all it’s cut out to be. Of course, depending on the generation and interests of the INFJ, social media use may vary.

However, for the most part, due to their ability to see right through the false narrative of life social media platforms can paint, this personality type rather not contribute or consume. A digital cobweb of unattainable expectations and masquerading illusions, INFJs don’t care to participate in the endless game of swipes and likes.

Instead, this knowledge-thirsty type may instead indulge in the more educational nooks of certain social media platforms such as YouTube or Reddit. Sadly, since many people derive a sense of identity and validation through their online presence, this can further make the INFJ seem boring.

Plus, considering there’s no better way to stay connected in today’s world than through this at-times toxic network of communication, it can make people view the INFJ as rather oldschool, or maybe people just assume they’ve fallen off the face of the planet.

They Are Quite Structured in Life

There's no doubt that most INFJs are usually more spontaneous than most people give them credit for. However, even with the most adventurous plans, INFJs will always find a way to structure their spontaneity to ensure they’ll be able to enjoy it fully.

As future-oriented beings, INFJs like to predict, plan, and manifest their ideal future. Mentally, they love the idea of just trusting the process and going with the flow, but deep down inside, they need to feel some sort of control in order to eventually let loose. But this doesn't only apply to spontaneous adventures.

In fact, INFJs like to have a grip on just about everything they’re involved in in life. Since the uncertainty of the future can make them feel slightly unsettled, they use they’re pattern recognition and future forecasting to bring a sense of groundedness. To some people however, this INFJ quality can seem rather daunting and rigid.

They Don’t Want to Participate in Shallowness

Despite their tendency to avoid confrontation, INFJs won’t hesitate to remove themselves from or call someone out for moral indecency. Sure, they enjoy their fair share of dark humor and funny stories, but when it involves topics that shouldn’t be humored, the INFJ’s empathic nature quickly takes over.

Disrespectful gossip, pointing out others shortcomings, rude assumptions, stealing, lying and cheating is where they draw the line. And while these high morals are usually appreciated by others, there are certainly times that they can make the INFJ seem a little too uptight.

Even though they much prefer to let it go, it’s as if as soon as they decide to let it slide, they’re going against their own judgments. Luckily, when they refuse to contribute or react to shallow behavior, they’re already prepared to be told to not take things so seriously.

It Takes a While for the Infj to Show Their Non-boring Side

Like a fine wine, it takes time for the INFJ to truly warm up to people. For the most part, people know this personality type to be quite reserved, quiet and observant, but that’s only until they get comfortable.

When the INFJ is still in this self-contained mode within a connection, they stay rather ‘boring’ in order to firstly, not leave a false impression, but also to silently analyze the other individual. This may take days, weeks, months, or years, and sometimes they never crack.

But one thing that’s for sure is that when the INFJ hasn’t shed any layers to their personality, they can seem not only boring, but also rather bored in the other person’s presence. When really, they’re just in their zone of collecting and filing information through their introverted intuition.