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What It's Like To Be an ENFP

Imagine a world where everything has meaning. Little nuances in behavior and tone of others voices don’t go unnoticed. It can be torturous when picking up on negative vibes, and be unable to decipher them, because most people are too polite to tell you what they're really thinking.

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It can also be extremely helpful in social situations where you can pick up on social cues and shine. Being an NF type, is like a super power! You just know certain things. You get a feeling and it's usually spot on. You intuitively understand people and appreciate their uniqueness. You dislike when people are not acting in an authentic way because it's impossible to know who they are.


A Personal Experience by Alissa B

Being an ENFP is paradoxical. Of course, life in itself is paradoxical. I’m very familiar with this and notice abstract patterns of this nature in daily life all the time.

By communicating within the limits of the human language, I can really only attach symbols and labels to an idea to try to communicate my perception of it, and even then the way that is perceived by others will be nearly infinitely varied due to our vastly different experiences, and the many facets to the intrinsically intricate nature of the human mind.

I try my best to bridge the gap between my mind and yours by genuinely expressing myself, and weaving my expression in a considerate way. I find an inexplicable beauty in this endless perception; an infinite pool of invocable, foreign and familiar, thoughts and emotions.

I believe life is a mirror reflecting into our inner worlds. I uncover the inner world of myself and others through compassion, communication, conscientiousness, and empathy. I have a deep desire to help others in this life to feel understood, comfortable, and know they are loved. That love exists.

In my eyes, this life is the pursuit of experience; the experience of wisdom, beauty, pleasure, and of transformative pain on both the physical and mental planes of being.


on Extroversion

Though I am extroverted because I gain energy from being around others, I also feel a definite need to recharge in my own space. I’m the kind of person where I actually don’t mind if I’m not alone during this recharging time. We can go about our usual personal activities like reading, writing and so forth, in the same room together.

I define myself as extroverted because not only do I gain energy from being around others, but I’m simply fascinated by other humans, by sharing our thoughts and ideas and all the other interesting facets of communication, so I’ve really spent a lot of time over the years learning to craft the way I communicate in a way that I feel works well for me.

As a child, I was quite blunt and tactless in my communication with others. Many misunderstandings occurred which left me frustrated. Due, in part, to my general lack of self-awareness at the time. Also partially due to me being an only child growing up, with parents who weren’t really in the picture.

I basically spent a lot of time alone, so I was honestly pretty lacking in social skills for my growing years. I think this is a big reason why psychology always struck my interest, and continues to as time goes on.


on Intuition

In the years I was growing up, intuition „as a concept” was not something I was familiar with. I just had these very strong gut feelings all my life, and besides the frustration of not knowing how to refer to them, the worst part perhaps, was wrestling with whether or not I should trust those feelings and notions that came from within… not knowing if I could even trust my Self. It made for some low self-esteem for many years.

I often still struggle with not trusting myself, being genuinely afraid to put trust in myself. I am a person who seeks validation quite a lot, though I try to be self-assured as best as I can.

We learn lessons in life that reinforce, or sometimes reveal our intuitive nature, and through these lessons, the individual often crafts their response to their intuition to work for them.

Before we learn the craft, the intuition can just feel like big, overwhelming feelings pretty much all the time. We are analytical of ourselves and the world, and sometimes find it easy to take things personally, before gaining the wisdom of experience to learn to separate ourselves from the big feelings, and think through things and interactions with others logically.

This lack of understanding of an intricate aspect of the Self will manifest as anxiety, and sometimes depression in most individuals, before they learn to work with what they’ve got.


on Feeling

My decision-making process in life has been overruled by emotions for the most part. I try to balance myself out, but I tend to act very instinctively when it comes to decisions that will impact myself.

I am very thoughtful in decisions that impact others. I’m trying to practice more self-love, through some tough love for my Self! Since I have big feelings, I take on the emotions of others very easily. 

Ever heard of an empath? I’ve been labeled one by others before I knew what that particular phrase meant. It’s naturally easy for me to feel where others are coming from! I used to overextend myself a lot, I did not want anyone to feel rejected by me saying no.

Thankfully, I have learned to safeguard my feelings by learning to say no, learning to try to trust my intuition and react to situations accordingly.


on Perception

I like to keep my views flexible. I have a lot of core values and beliefs I feel strongly about, of which compassion and consideration for nature and other beings are of utmost importance.

However, I am always open to new ways of viewing things, and love to hear people out and discuss, rather than argue. I am not too prideful or foolish to believe my way of thinking is irrevocably correct.